Malaysian English vs British English

The language of Quran are so sacred that its text doesn’t change for 14,000 years,
by comparison English has changed dramatically in just 700 years!

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the shirt you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians : S-kews me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) Can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians : Don’t be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Malaysians: Don’t want la.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please, lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what? You know me ar?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians : Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen? Why like that?

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don’t know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka u!